"The Work" (23/09/20)

"The Work" 

 

When I first began my wellness journey about six years ago, mindfulness taught me that through meditation, I could separate my thoughts from reality. I discovered that I could notice thoughts as they entered my mind, observe them and let them go. This was completely revolutionary to me - how could my thoughts not be ‘me’? I create them, surely! Mindfulness is about recognising that yes, we create our thoughts, but our mind does this on autopilot as we go about our daily lives. If you are experiencing a negative situation, you might find that your mind throws up similar situations from your past in attempt to ‘solve the problem’. This can make you feel worse, and so the mind throws up more negative thoughts and so on. Mindfulness is about recognising unhelpful thoughts and letting them go before they become consuming. Practicing mindfulness meditation is not surprisingly, great for your mental health (apps Calm & Headspace are a great intro).

 

Recently, I have come across the work of Byron Katie. In her book The Work, she takes the concept of mindfulness deeper and invites us to question the truth of our thoughts:  

 

“As we do The Work, not only do we remain alert to our stressful thoughts—the ones that cause all the anger, sadness, and frustration in our world—but we question them, and through that questioning the thoughts lose their power over us. Great spiritual texts describe the what—what it means to be free. The Work is the how. It shows you exactly how to identify and question any thought that would keep you from that freedom.”  

 

Byron defines four questions that can revolutionise your thought process. If you want to give it a try, first bring a recent negative thought that you have had to mind and write it down. Now, consider the following questions: 

 

Question 1: Is it true?
This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true?
This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.

Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you've written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list, and be specific.

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn't have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?

Turn the thought around:
The "turnaround" gives you an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life. 

 

I have found this exercise fascinating, and it has really illuminated that often the thoughts that affect me the most, are not at all true. Life changing!  

 

I would love to hear from you if you give this a go. If you want to explore The Work further, there are lots of resources on Byron Katie's website.

Enjoy the rest of your week!